To X1; i miss you

[kissingminhee]

 

i miss you, there's no doubt about that. it hurts every time i look at the pictures of you on my wall, or every time i look at your photo book. i seem like i'm ok, but the truth is: i'm not. i'm nowhere near being happy, and it's ok, it truely is, but it still hurts to look at you together as eleven. i hope you can forgive me, that i can never truely be ok with you leaving me so early. i had five years with you planned, but i only got five months with you. i'm a bit lost, to be honest. ever since that day, i haven't been feeling myself. like i'm an empty shell of what i used to be. nothing means anything to me anymore. now, that i'm in a fight my friend, i feel even more useless. you were my rocks. you made me so happy to be alive, you really did, but now you're gone. you've split off and nothing feels the same to me anymore. i'm empty, hollow. the only thing i can feel is sadness, regret. it's been seven months since you left me, seven months since i lost my happiness. but i'll try and work through it, i'll try and live my life for you. it's stupid. none of you are dead, but it certainly does feel like it. despite how empty i feel, how lonely i feel without you all together, i'm going to try and become happy again, just for the eleven of you.

to,

han seungwoo

cho seungyoun

kim wooseok

kim yohan

lee hangyul

cha junho

son dongpyo

kang minhee

lee eunsang

song hyeongjun

nam dohyon

i miss you, so much, it should be understandable. i don't know if i'll ever get over you, i truly don't, and i hope you can forgive me.

i love you, x1, then, now, and forever, i will always be your oneit