AroAce Jungmo; some thoughts

 

“hey, you ok?”

“ye-yeah, i-i—” but jungmo can’t seem to get the words out of his mouth.

“it’s ok, hyung, you don’t have to tell me anything.” and just like that, jungmo collapses into minhee’s arms, tears overflowing.

it’s a rare feeling that jungmo feels, but it doesn’t make him feel any better.

jungmo’s comfortable in his own body… well, usually, but it’s never as bad as it feels right now. the feeling of not being normal, and never going to be completely “normal” by societal standards.

he tries to not think about it, it’s not worth thinking about it, but there’s always a shit-eating monster that lives in the back of his mind, feeding off of his anxiety.

“is this about what the others’ said?” minhee questions quietly, obviously unsure of whether he should approach the topic or not.

and jungmo would like to get this off his chest, to tell minhee on what he’s been feeling like recently, but it’s like there’s something that’s stopping him from completely spilling his feelings to minhee.

jungmo had always been headstrong on how he feels. always willing to freely yell, hell yeah i’m aroace! and there’s nothing you can do to stop that! but he has his weak moments too.

somehow he always manages to make himself feel worse though. might be because he’s surrounded by romance and sex, might be because some of his friends talk about all the hot boys and hot girls they’ve seen around recently, so he can never really pinpoint any moments so he can purge those things around him.

if it ever comes up, jungmo’s always ready to beat arophobes and acephobes, if they ever come for jungmo’s sexuality, but sometimes they can get him down too.

“i-i guess,” jungmo replies after a moment of silence between the two, “i’m just feeling really invalid right now.”

jungmo’s never been one to keep things from a certain kang minhee, though.

minhee is one of jungmo’s best friends. he’s never afraid to speak up for jungmo and his sexuality, never afraid to fight for jungmo’s rights. because of this, everytime jungmo doesn’t feel right, or feels unsure of his sexuality, he always goes to minhee, because he always knows how to cheer jungmo up.

there’s never been a moment when minhee hasn’t brought jungmo up from a moment of him invalidating himself.

minhee brings jungmo out of his arms and sits jungmo down on the floor, minhee soon following. he cups the older’s face and slowly drags it up to make eye contact.

“you’re valid, mogu-hyung, god, you’re so fucking valid,” minhee starts and jungmo can already feel the tears start to build up again, “no amount of hate, or stupid homophobes can bring you down and invalidate you. you’re perfect and amazing just the way you are. the lack of romantic or sexual attraction doesn’t define that. you’re friendship is just as precious. you can still love your friends and hey, i think that’s much better than having to go through feelings, aren’t they just gross? ew, i say.” minhee chuckles and it causes jungmo to chuckle as well.

“man, you’re so precious mogu-hyung, and nothing, and i mean nothing can change that about you, romance and sex isn’t everything in life. fuck sociatal standards, you’re creating a new path, and i think that’s absolutely beautiful.” jungmo lets the tears flow down his face quietly, because this is what he needs to hear.

he’s perfect, he’s absolutely perfect, and there’s nothing wrong with him, why would there be?

there’s no stupid guidelines to human life that tell us that romance and sex should normal, it’s just a stupid standard that became exprected, like an unwritten rule of life that needs to be followed.

“i-i’m sorry, mini, this is stupid.”

“no it’s not, it’s hard to live in a world like this, and i think you’re doing beautifully, hyung.” minhee reassures once again.

jungmo hopes that one day, one day, sex and romance wont be forced upon everyone, but that day is not today, but he needs to keep on living, even if everyday he feels more and more invalidated.

it’s ok, though, because he has minhee, who will always be there to make him feel better when he feels worse.